Everyone's talking about self-love...!
It would be easy to fill this blog post with other people’s quotes about loving yourself…there are hundreds of them. Wonderful, uplifting, insightful and wise words abound on the subject. It is a way of relating to ourselves that is increasingly being explored, discussed and taught. Books about it are burgeoning on Amazon. Its message is on mug coasters, T-shirts and everywhere on social media.
And there is a good reason for this…as many of us are waking up to the value and importance of loving ourselves. We recognise that it is a vital element of a fulfilling, successful life where we have a healthy, happy relationship with ourselves, those close to us and the world generally.
So…we understand how important it is…then what…?
For many of us there is the question, ‘’Well how do I actually do it?’’
We understand the theory and are touched by the self-love quotes – but how do we make it a real and tangible part of our lives?
Many people might read an inspiring quote such as the ones above…smile for a moment, nod in agreement…then go back to their usual mode of critical self-judgements.
Why does this happen? It is because we attempt to love ourselves through our minds. Our mind gets the point about self-love. It understands the benefits and sets about trying to do it. But the mind isn’t really designed for the job.
Our minds are beautiful pieces of machinery that are built to compute, assess data, compare and contrast, then make decisions based on judgments. To the analytical mind, self-love is a commodity or a tool to be applied. It will try and do it, tick the box, job done…but nothing really shifts. The promise of self-love is not genuinely experienced. Disappointment sets in…and maybe we give up trying to love ourselves altogether.
With all that said, our minds are an important part of the process that can support us in self-love. It can make a positive decision about it – but it can’t actually do it.
And there are times when our mind can’t even support us with the decision to love ourselves…when it is invaded with stress, at the mercy of our conditioning, fearful of our limitations and overloaded with pressure.
At times like that self-love can be jettisoned out of the picture altogether.
So what do we do…?
We love ourselves from our hearts.
Our heart already loves us, unconditionally and completely. It loves us from a place of infinite supply…never runs dry…always full and overflowing with support, nurturing, reassurance, care, cherishing, understanding, compassion, gentleness, passion…for us.
When we drop into our heart with the intention to love ourselves we don’t have to do anything. There is no trying involved. We can just rest in the peaceful ocean of love inside us and bathe. We can let this love fill us, soak us through and seep into every fibre of our being. It enfolds all our hurt, lonely and disappointed places and holds them in a nourishing embrace. As the self-critical judgments melt into love, the loving energy grows and builds, we are suffused with it and all those ‘benefits’ of self-love that we read so much about start to naturally flow in our lives.
I’ve made something for you…it takes you through some easy steps which carry you to this place where you can feel your self-love flow…